My Turn Bitches - Race Report by Tristan (the TON)

My Turn Bitches,
Well it really was a blast out their on Sat with Ghetto Sled, PB Towage and the newly painted squid looking flash on the rigging lawn. True 3rd rig from the S.E about time and all 3 boats made the most of it. First race saw Ghetto take the lead early as they were the only boat on the line at the start. Benny’s left nut popped out of his mankinnie so he and craig had a voluntary swim so he could make the appropriate adjustments on the kinnie, once sorted they rejoined the race, but were further back than fullback and that is where they stayed. The real race was unfolding at the pointy end of the fleet, and with superior speed it did not take long for the senior team of Tristo and Wayne to take the lead at the top mark. Popped the chute and tried to play conservative with 1 string, but ghetto’s big orange penis was thrusted them harder and faster into the lead by the bottom mark. PB slipped futher back on the next beat but did not hold back for the next run into the finish when I said f..ck I’m coming out and Wyne said yep go hard or go home this resulted in one of those crazy radical rides with mack 10 speeds. Wayne could not stop hahooing all the way to the finish!! Ghetto did well to win the race with PB second and the squid jigging into 3rd place.

Second race breeze pumped another 4-5 knots and the ramps were still a plenty. PB had the start sorted and lead early, however with the newly adjusted left nut, the squid relishing in the conditions showing great pace on the first beat. Ghetto and PB were close behind but the ghetto had a shocker of a tack and hit the piss. PB aimed up at the squid keeping the pressure on, the ride to the bottom mark was even more radical than the first race and it was hang on!! Wayne went from yahhoooing to stone silent wondering when the crash was going to happen and how to avoid the tonne from landing on him in the process. Swim never came on PB, however the squid gissem got stage fright and Benny reportedly hit the ejection button and exited off the back leaving Craig to fend for himself! This resulted in both testicles being bisected by the mankinnie in futher surgery being required. PB stayed solid and took the bullet for the win showing why she will be crowned club champion this year! Ghetto ran out of balls “harden up men” and squid took second.

So a cracker it was and lets hope for more of that at the Nationals!

I am still recovering

Tristan

Sing when you're Winning !!! Race Report 19/3/2011

Morning Ladies
Race Report from the front of the fleet.

Forecast was looking distinctly minky all week, with rain and no wind predicted. When the morning came around, we were met with a drizzly crap-looking day, but 10-15knots SE!!! I raced home to get the second rig as i only took the big rig to the club.

Race 1: The first start was a spectacle, with 4 12ft skiffs and a 49er all hitting the line with pace. nothing in it, but the ghetto blasted off the line to gain a handy lead heading out towards Green island (the one in brisbane, not Cairns). Heading up towards the top mark, Spiesy and John with their wind-streaked 3rd rig, gained some height as the wind freshened a bit, closing the gap with the sled. The tuggers, with superstar crew Robin, struggled for pace with the extra 25kg of the ton playing with little childen (at his daughter's 1st birthday party you sicko's). The Squid was in 3rd.

Around the top mark, it was the 49er by 100m, then the sled, then 50m to the Speez, then the squid, then tugger.... behind (i think there was a splashtack in there too).
The fine crew of the Ghetto Sled threw their new kite up and sent it. driving it like we stole it, a 200m gap opened up between 1st and second. John must have been swearing as pre race he was mouthing off about how it was going to fill in to 3rd rig. Round the mark another sharpish display by the sled, to maintain the lead and cruise around the next lap, barely headed by anyone. Stopping the clock at around 40mins, we waited for an eternity (8mins) for the Tuggers to limp across the line. Spisy 2nd, Squidgy 3rd.

Race 2: 15deg easterly shift between races and no-one (except the brilliantly-gifted sailors on board the Ghetto sled) picked it. Pin-end on port "BANDIT" start.!!! Crossed them all, 49er included (i thought they were training for the Olympics). 50m lead turned into 100m by the top mark. Overlayed the bottom mark as the wind shifted south and the Squid this time were right on our hammer. The wind had eased a few knots, so the Speez was back in third. Tuggers floundering back in 4th, their hopes of a Summer series wind floundering with them. Round the mark and the gap opened up again between 1st and second, though the Squid found a new high gear and were still pressing hard. Round the top mark and the Ghetto danced away from Ben and ... well Dancer. We gybed when a big southerly shift and pressure presented itself and nailed the finish line angle by luck. Sailing lower and faster, the gap opened up once again for a comfortable win to the Ghetto Sled.!!

Derig in the rain, but it was OK. 2 wins in a day makes it all good..!!! The rum (thanks to skinnyman due to the colder weather) was sweet.

Race Report 12/3/2011 by Skinny

One race this week.. It was a bay race around Green Island... There were four 12's out there ready to rumble.. Good to see.. Very good to see..!!
The breeze was from the East... I was dreading another big rig day.. Uugghh.. Sooo over big rig..!!! There was a bit out there so we all threw in 2nd.. Good call I reckon.. It was a glamour day out there..!!

Here's how I saw the action
Start was a bit ordinary for Wayno and I on PB.. Squid won it with Spiesy and I on their tail.. Spiesy went really high but slow.. Richard started last but blasted through the fleet.. He passed me to leeward..!!! It was lovely 2nd rig conditions.. Team fly weights (PB) were depowering while all you other fat pr1cks were just revving it up.. We hit the NW corner or green and Wayne and I did a splash tack.. Spiesy was still high and had the box seat.. Squid was a mile away but pretty low.. Richard was in between somewhere.. We got our boat back up but I tell you what, 4th place feels a long way back these days... We tacked our way up between green an st helina.. In that same order we did a shy reach along green and Wayne and I picked up some valuable meters... We were able to go a bit lower because of our weight.. Thank goodness..!!! Grove had tried to put up the kite a bit earlier to try and catch the Spiesoid.. Alas poor Yorrick it was quite a stretch getting around the mark and after a quick kite flap they tea bagged... Oops.. The Squid boys scooted past with their new kite and PB followed not quite catching them... So we were all around the SE mark and kites were all set.. Spiesy was well in front.. He went out towards king and the squid boys followed all in the name of chasing pressure.. Rich tried the right hand side of the course back in towards green... Wayne and I kinda just played the middle and it paid off.. We caught up a lot.. One mistake from these punks and we had a podium finish... It was a cracking ride too just quietly.. Not out of control, but fast enough to be reminded why 12's are the greatest skiff of all..!!
Coming in to the finish Spiesy was in 1st followed by the Squid and then Rich and I... Grove were coming in hot on port, with Squid and I on Starboard... It was going to be close.. Team Grove didn't pick their layline right, and had to drop the kite to get to the finish.. They had an unfortunate drop and ended up prawning and going for a swim.. 3rd went to PB and Grove was 4th... I'm not sure how close exactly we finished, but it was pretty close considering it was such a long race.. Very close actually...
Well done to Spiesy and John for a solid performance..!! I look forward to sticking it to ya next week..!! Don't you worry.. We will..!!

A splendid day on the bay ended with a few beers with the boys and some serious Opti races in front of the club..

Race Report 5/3/2011 by Craig

How was Mardi Gras boys?!

Saturday was cranking and Squid had plenty of space to play in!
We put in 3rd but should have gone 4th.
After a fast ride down to the start line in about 25 knots we lined up with a few etchells, the hobies, a 505 and one brave masochist in a contender.
We had one of Ben's leisurely starts (Ben was in even less of a hurry than usual...).
The upwind was chop chop choppy and it was hard to get our groove on.
Around the top mark, bear away wasn't too bad and we prayed to all the gods while we waited for the tack line to pull itself clear off the stick.

And then it was on...

We blasted off to Green via Mars two stringing with one back fruity between us, the gusts kept getting stronger and we had more on than Skinny on a Friday night.
Coming towards Green with a gust and the 5oh was starting to look like roadkill, pirates of the Carribean style. We flogged the kite for a second, tore above them on our ear and then they were yesterday.
The gybe somehow worked and we were back on the wire and the bottom mark was way over there but by now Ben was muhahahaing and shouting "Fuck the race course woooooooot" and next we mined hard like we meant it! Ouch!
Around the bottom mark and back up again and by now some of the gusts were nearly knocking us flat under jib alone. We ducked an eggshell somewhere which was seeming like it might be a little tricky but went ok and soon it was the top mark and back on the horse time! Wind was still coming in and we were really overcooked now. What better way to celebrate than pull up our new kite and send it pretty much straight off the mountain!

Ben hanging off the new rudder box...

me on the back fruitie...

balls dangling out our eye sockets...

Damn this is fast and even faster.

Swallow.

Go forward

Gybe...

Fuck me we made it again!

and here we go...

wooooooot!

Put it in dropping the kite and had a bit of mischief bearing away and then finished.


Race 2.

A big squall was coming.

We started and then headed in while we could still bear away....

Race Report 26/2/2011 by Skinny

Race 1..

The breeze was once again from the East... WooWoo..!! Everybody's favourite..!!!
The rigging lawn had a few boats and boy was it a glorious day..!! The three 12's racing were Squid, PB and Ghetto Sled (Grove).. All three had their A team onboard and everyone knew it was going to be close out there on the water..!!
Timmy the rock star turned up and brought the footy.. Life was good..!!
The only rigging set backs were the two boat breakers that broke.. Both Grove and Squid broke theirs and had to use the trusty tuggers breaker.. Good one PB..!!

So we get out there.. It's light... Only just two stringing... EXCELLENT..!!
The start was good.. All three boats got away cleanly... Trisso and I wanted to do the port hand bandit but thought better of it when a starboard tacking hobie started on the pin.. Good one you catamoron..!! We started at the pin end anyway but on starboard.. Up the first work we pretty much stayed up the middle with the 29er.. Ghetto went right... For a few moments they looked like they had already walked away with the race they were looking so famous.. However coming back in to the mark on Starboard they went through a light patch and let us all catch up a bit.... Around the top was Ghetto followed by the 29er and PB then Squidgee bringing it up the rear... (You know exactly why I asked the question Benny..)
Downhill the Squid lads threw in a cheeky early gybe.. Ghetto saw this move and gybed too... Shame bro..!! Both boats sailed in to the sick easterly while PB screamed to the layline and with one gybe they were in their rightful place.. The lead..!!!
It was quite close at the mark between Ghetto and PB.. Squidgee were a bit further behind but not out of the race just yet.!! The sled was pointing like a 5o5 and making good ground on PB who were hunting air and 1 and a half stringing... However the skipper of the sled got a little excited through a tack and snapped his tiller... Rookie error... There was a capsize in there too somewhere... I wasn't really watching... I just knew they were tacking... It was left to the Squid boys and PB to bring home the bacon... We did just that, and finished in the same order... PB had an interesting final gybe under an eggshell but survived..

Race two...
The wind had picked up a bit.. Woohoo..!! Ghetto had gone home by this stage so it was just the Squid boys and PB out there.. Match race..!!!
PB started well.. We just dumped on Squid. Easy. We just kept the 29er and Squidgee in check the whole first beat.. Around the top and up went the big kahoona.. We drove her like a rental and sent her to the bottom mark... The Squid boys were like a shadow.. Just following us waiting for a mistake.. Their patience paid off when PB prawned at the bottom mark... Squid dropped their kite and rounded inside PB... The Tuggers got the kite in and got settled for the chase..
We caught up to the squid boys and Tristan and I decided that we weren't going to beat them by following .. We tacked, Squid covered.. So we tacked again.. Squid covered.. This sparked excitement onboard PB... Old school tacking duel..!!! BRING IT..!!! We played the game for a while.. It was great..!! But Benny got over it and stopped covering us... Good call. We sailed in to a hole and all that hard work we did to catch up was undone.. Bugger..
The Squid boys sailed faultlessly to victory with PB in second.. Good job boys..!!
It really shows that consistency is crucial to 12's racing... You can't win if you stuff a tack or a mark rounding.. Not in this fleet.. Well done boys, and yes it really was another fantastic weekend racing the best boats on the bay..!!